To the mistakes I haven't apologized for
The sinned I committed but remained unrepentant
And the lessons I learnt too late in life
To the pirated novels I read over and over again,
Because I can't get enough of the bounty some stories offer
And to the brand new signed copies I abandon,
Leaving them unread, because they fail to amuse me
To the lip color which is no longer in vogue,
But I still have no shame to put it on every now and then
And the lotion I left upside down,
Dripping and escaping its cage
To the conversations I scripted in my head and practiced in front of the mirror,
But never gathered the courage to say it out loud
To the plans I wish I had executed
To the ideas I yearn were of substantial nature
And all the cravings I longed for to be corporeal
To the time I didn't settle for
And the bridges I burned,

The rage I sparked
To the yesterday,
I spent worrying about the future
And the tomorrow,
I will spend regretting over the past
To the obliviousness to opportunities
And denial to shortcomings

To the miles I didn't walk for,
The company I left, the people I cut off
And to the missed calls,
The emails I deleted without opening
And texts I don't read, let alone replying
To the presents I never keep and forward

And the food I bluntly leave without devouring,
To the petals I plucked out,
In the name of determining my lover's affection
And to the anxious mornings,
Where I couldn't bring myself to get out of the bed
To the times when I felt homeless,
Under my roof and within four walls of home
And to the days I wished to run away,
And find the place I belonged to
To the skin, I often claimed to be unfamiliar with
To my blood, that sneaked out so many times,
And to the storms I raised everyday,

I went so shamelessly destructive and abusive
I am sorry for being this clumsy
But I have learned it the hard way
To not settle for anything
Less than love,
Less than forever


  1. Really cool blog Maryam !..You have done really really good work..


  2. This is amazing.


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