This year brought with itself myriad of positive and negative things. I met some great people, went through academic ups and downs, made achievements, went live on national television, fell in and out of love, got my heart broken, struggled with mental health, burnt some bridges and lit my way. There were moments of self-discovery, learning and embracing.
Here’s to 2017, 17 things it taught me:
1. Someone will always make fun of you. Ignore them and do your thing. Whether it was my work, doing paid promotions for brands, or my taste, from music to my choice of drink, someone had to make jokes about it. I ignored them all.
2. You cannot please everybody. My activism and angry feminist rants pissed off a great deal of people but that didn’t stop me from what I believe in. Seek the truth regardless of obstacles.
3. You will not be right always. Don’t be afraid of taking in new perspectives. There were times where I knew where my ignorance came from and welcomed constructive criticism. I took it with a pinch of salt, accepted my mistakes and learnt from it.
4. Follow your gut, AND hear out advises. It will be unfair of me to neglect some honestly helpful advises I received, god knows they saved my ass. Other people’s experiences can serve as your lessons too. Don’t be afraid to seek help.
5. Put yourself in their shoes. Often our vision is clouded by our emotions or personal experiences, one side of the story. In any situation, take a neutral angle, look at the wider picture and make fair judgements.
6. Activism is emotionally exhausting. You cannot simply fight every battle out there, as much as your heart wishes to fix it all. It’s a tedious task and takes a toll on our mental health, specially if you’re fighting something that closely affects you. Cut yourself some slack.
7. Not everyone you shake hands with is your friend, my mother always says. As I grow older, it keeps getting real. Only a handful of people can be trusted and called true friends. Know your people, and keep them close.
8. You don’t owe people shit. I’ve kept wrong people in life for far too long but letting them go was the kindest thing I did to myself. Don’t sabotage yourself at the disposal of others. Detach yourself from toxic energy, only then will positivity sprout.
9. Distance doesn’t matter, persistence does. I can be oceans away from my closest people but with right amount of time and effort, we are strong as ever.
10. Communication is the key. Whether it is expressing grievances or gratitude, saying sorry for bad behaviour or telling someone how much you care, they won’t know until it translate into words. I’m constantly learning how to stay true and vocal about how I feel.
11. Your character is as worthy as your ability to act upon it. We all notice what’s wrong but what matters is how you react to it. Don’t let shit slide, sometimes a simple “that’s not cool, dude” gets the job done. Don’t be a spectator in times of moral crisis. Do every bit to create a positive impact.
12. Laugh is the most authentic expression. I for one have a ‘funny’ laugh where I giggle periodically fading into squeals and clapping like a seal. But that’s me. Never make someone insecure about their genuine emotions, whether it is their loud roar or awkward giggles, it’s pure and wonderful. Likewise, don’t worry about your crazy outbursts too. It applies to other physical aspects too.
13. Support local artists and boost your talented friends. Invest your money and effort to uplift genuine, hardworking people. Go to gigs, buy their art, promote them. And PLEASE don’t exploit them by asking for favours and free shit.
14. Do a social media detox or minimise the use. Fed up from keeping up with streaks, I deleted snapchat for a few weeks, and I noticed how soon I start appreciating little things. Instead of keeping your phone ready to snap as your food is served, absorb the aroma and devour the meal. It’s a much more fulfilling experience when you watch a game, enjoy a concert, not through the camera’s lens. Spend time with people, strike a conversation looking into their eyes, while the phone rests in a corner.
15. It’s okay to pamper yourself. You deserve it, honey. Once in a while, I save up and splurge solely for my guilty pleasures. It doesn’t matter how meaningless and material they may be. It’s not money wasted if it makes you happy, it’s money spent the right way.
16. Everyone makes a fair share of mistakes, no matter how good they are at hiding it. Making the wrong choices, not taking the right chances, stumbling over or making a fool of yourself, we’ve all been there. No one remembers the stupid shit you did 47285 years ago, you shouldn’t either. Accept it and move on. You will do better in future.
17. Be fair to yourself. We love setting goals, often in comparison, but sometimes the pressure is too hard to take. Let your growth be slow but steady. Keep striving, you will get there at your own pace. And cherish your walk. Remember that your journey is unique, not parallel to others.
That’s all, folks. See you on the other side.
7 is very true. Your mother said it right.
ReplyDeleteSometimes asserting what you believe in totally isolates you especially when you are living with people who are your opposite and you cannot even rid youself from them.
ReplyDeleteSo point number two has not worked for me.
Great insight.