An Open Letter to Soon To-Be-Married Best Friend

Dear soon to-be-married best friend, 

Both these things in the salutation are ironic. Best friend? I’d rather call you my sister that I didn’t biologically have. And soon to-be-MARRIED! Can you believe it?! I can’t, and I’m squealing as I type. Because firstly, someone accepted to marry you with all your craziness? He’s surely in for a ride. And secondly, remember when you’d cringe at the slightest mention about boys? And now you’re finally tying THE knot. Holy mother of shaadi. We’ve come a long, long way since. I cannot put into words how overwhelming it is for me to have known you as that loud, straight-forward, lunatic freak from school blossoming into such a mature, composed personality, doing all this adult stuff. 

I’m sitting here reminiscing all that we’ve shared in our friendship all these years, our achievements and (public) embarrassments, makeovers and lazing around at your house while you sleep, coconut juices and sour candies, sharing clothes and humming old songs, the comfort zone and crazy mischiefs managed throughout school and college, starting from us placed next to each other as a punishment the first day in class only to turn into my most cherished endeavour, as if it was meant for us to connect and make this life bearable, but it wasn’t all butterflies and unicorn poop. In our petty fights and selfless apologies, all ups and downs, you’ve been there, at the most vulnerable (and ugly), times where I’ve found myself in a crisis and rushing to hug you, calling you in the middle of the night for a heart-to-heart conversation, and vice versa, you’d listen to me rant my organs out and save my ass, you’ve been my person. And now you’re embarking on a new milestone, finding your person that you will share the rest of your life with. I hope and pray for him, that lucky champ, to give you all the love and kindness you deserve, to be there for you and celebrate every part of you, gently and wholeheartedly.

I am sure it’s as overwhelming for you as you prepare. I know it’s been a tiring week. Hustling between your finals and trips to the dress designer, but you’ll be just fine. Take things as they come. Big and small moments right now and in the following months to come, the whirlwind of tasks and thrill, they’re shaping the life for you. Don’t get too caught up in ifs and buts, don’t stress too much over the madness of things, the expectations and hurdles, but appreciate all the little joys. The exquisite glitz and unbounded love. Tons of people celebrating and congratulating, followed by tons more treating you as a married woman (holy shit! Aunty alert!), and a whole lot of emotions.

That being said, now here’s some real talk:

It’s okay to be a little stressed, even over minuscule things, it’s inevitable because you strive for perfection and marriage is no piece of cake. Sip on some mint lemonade (it’s healthy, you don’t want that skin to break out right?), just breathe and know that you’ve got this. I’m here for you. Hit me up and I always have some nasty lame jokes in stock to crack you up. I’ll also always try to be the voice of reason to calm you. 

You will get busier by the minute and your new life will consume you. But promise me that doors of your house are forever open for me and Aunty’s Chinese food will be there. For old times sake. Just kidding (maybe not). But while I will cut our bride some slack, I will also cut you in pieces if you get too busy for me specially after you move out of the country soon.

I will be third-wheeling. There. I said it.

Know that there will be drama, unsolicited advices and remarks that should dissolve into thin air before sprouting into existence. Ignore them, and do your thing. You. Do. You.

On your happiest days, remember that it’s okay to remember your closest people who’ve passed away. They might not be able to share your celebrations in person, but they’re there in spirits. They will be so happy for you. 

One day you’re going to look back to all of running errands, the bittersweet bits of this beginning will brim your heart with light. I hope there is lots of love and happiness in stores for you, and this unravels a fairytale that I will so be so proud to watch you live.

Nikkah Mubarak in advance. I love you.

Always,

Maryam